How I will die.

No no, taking my own life after I realize She-Hulk isn’t real is a good guess, but it’s not the right answer.

 

A while back at work after closing I needed to take some re-shop back. Most of it I didn’t have a problem with. Batman and G.I. Joe figures, no problem. Bratz dolls and plush cows, well I can figure it out. Dancing Elmo toys, just follow the taste of pure evil drifting through the air.

 

But then it came to me venturing into the juvenile section to find where some weird little fuzzy thing that hangs from a crib or car seat or something… I don’t know… I work in electronics! It’s not a video game. It can’t play MP3s!  How the hell am I supposed to know where to put this?

 

So I roam from hall to aisle to aisle looking for the spot. As the minutes go by I start to realize I’ve been here before, and that I’ve just been roaming in circles. The shelves seem taller now, looming more and more/ The overhead lights shut down to low levels casting shadows upon me. And I find myself in the near dark still holding onto this thing as cardboard boxes with pictures of giggling babies surround me. A cold chill runs up my spine as fear starts to set in. But it’s got to go somewhere, so I head back in there, deeper into the aisles. Forever searching aimlessly, pleading with higher powers for a sign, or some clue as to where this thing goes.

 

And then I see myself lost to this dark world. Never to be seen again.

 

Old employees will tell future ones that on the cold nights you can still hear my pained mutters as I groan ‘…where… where the fuck does this go?’.

B!

PS She Hulk is real right?
 


WTF?

My friend Brian dates some women with tremendous racks. However unlike me, he is not a breast man. I’m not even sure he notices them on a girl… and I can’t wrap my mind around that, but even worse than that Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser are going to be in a movie together and it isn’t an action adventure movie!

 WTF?

 No venturing out into the desert to explore and uncover lost cities. No fighting of evil supernatural or otherwise for ancient treasures no snappy one liners after dispatching a Nazi… they’re in a drama?

 WTF?

 If you’re going to put a pair of action heroes of their caliber together for a film it can’t be a drama! That’s just an abomination! Granted Hollywood creates Star Studded big budget abominations every year and doesn’t’ look like it’s going to stop any time soon, but this is just fundamentally wrong and hurts the soul! No, for that dynamic duo you need something big, saving the world from penultimate evil big! They have to go out and fight Super Zombie Hitler or something!

 Hell, when you get down to it Brendan Fraser could totally be Captain America… granted Harrison Ford has all the Nazi fighting experience, but actors do need to grow and expand their skills. No… being in a drama isn’t expanding one’s skills. That’s just being girly.

 Really I’m not that picky, I’d be happy if they just Brendan’s character from the Mummy movies thrown into Indiana Jones. After all, Indy’s son’s busy saving the world with the Transformers. He needs some extra help.

 Seriously guys, get your acts together! Dramas aren’t entertaining. Dramas won’t get you an action figure line! Everyone’s already got too much drama in their lives. Give us what we need! More action, more adventure, more of that thrill of seeing villains fall from a cliff while someone says something cool!


Come on, you know you wanna!

B!

Everyone's got their Thing.

I'll admit, after a holiday season of explaining video games to guest at work I'm pretty tired of social interaction with people that don't know about the things their buying. 

Seriously Nintendo... why did you make the Wiimote and Nun-chuck sold separately and so confusing to non-gamers? If I had a nickle for every time I had to explain them I'd buy the Moon and bring it down on you guys!  

Anyway getting back to my story I was pretty tired of people, and tonight I had a guest that had just picked up a PSP for himself and was asking a bunch of questions. Yeah, I know it was new to him, but as I said, I was tired of these sorts of questions, but I'm on the job so I'm polite and answer everything I can. I just hate him a little more inside each time. 

Then he comes up to me with a pinball game and asks me about something I don't know. So we read the back of the case. Turns out that according to the back of the game there are some actual old pinball game boards on the game. And his face lights up. That look of someone that's found something that's pure gold if only to them. And that made me smile right back.

I might still not know much about pinball, but I know that look and it's nice to be reminded we all have our thing.

B!

Infected!

Damn it... it's in my system now.

This holiday season has been made of the suck. It really has. 
I'm at a store I don't really care about that only has a handful of employees that I like. The guests here in Indy seem to be more rude and inpatient, and we're still not allowed to kill anyone as a warning.  At this point I was pretty sure my heart was dead inside. 

Then it happened.

I'm looking at the pile of gifts I've got set out for people. And in the analytical portion of my brain  I ponder for a second just ow much I've spent.
But i can't. I look at the pile and just see the people I love and there's no price that could be put on that.

And I bow my head and realize that despite the horrors of the holiday season the good parts are still there and as strong as ever.

So I guess the moral of this is, despite how rough this time of year is, it's heart is in something good. Love your friend and family....

And wait till new years to strangle your enemies... at that point Santa's back to drinking and sleeping with elves and doesn't give a damn what you're doing.

-B!

Antithetical

It's a word I don't think I've ever used before, but I'm living it.

For as far back as I can recall my goal is to make people laugh. To bring joy into people's lives.
I'm no comedian. I've got the worst timing in the world, and I'm nervous in groups, but I can draw, and with the worlds I create I can reach out and try to enrich peoples lives.

And here I've spent the day making people that are so important to me cry.

 Sorry Dutch, I'm sure when you asked me to post something new you wanted it to be happy.

And while I have Wrath of the Lich King sitting on my desk as well as a new batch of my asthma meds.... I'm just not feeling the joy.

Maybe some sleep and some Bast and I'll feel better.

Good night, and before you turn in hug the ones you loves.

b.

Aww crap I have Emotions...

I'm playing Disgaea on the PSP.

I reach chapter 8: Reincarnation

I know what happens, I know the dialogue almost by heart...

And still I get to the end for the big reveal and I choke up and start to sob as it unfolds...

*sigh* what am I to do with myself...

-B...

Triumph!


It was a long time ago in a far away land… or maybe it was a couple weeks back in the kitchen downstairs… anyway, I had found myself in the kitchen with a dire need to feast upon something before death fell upon me… or maybe I just needed a snack to tide me over till dinner either way, I was out of snacks and something had to be done!”

 

Which ever may be the case, I’m certain I was fighting a space dragon before hand and totally kicked his ass!

 

Now then, I find myself in the kitchen. I have slices of bread, and I have slices of cheese, and I tell myself, I’m 29 years old, I’m a collage graduate, I manage to dress myself every day, and can explain video games and new fangled technologies to the elderly at work… so why is making a grilled cheese sandwich really fuckin’ with me?

 

I look towards the patio, “…do I need to get the grill? Can I grill it on the stove… do I need to preheat the oven? What the fuck? Where are you when I need you God?”

 

Being a strange and geeky artist type, I often feel awkward in my life outside of video games, but this was exceptionally weird. I remember there was a line in Mystery Science Theater 3000 where Crow mentions panicking while making sandwiches… and suddenly I’m him! There’s a sandwich that needs to be made and I’m panicking!

 

Granted, in my favor I’d been previously living without a usable kitchen and forced to live off fast food and vending machines, but you’d think it wouldn’t be this hard.

 

But alas it was. In the end disoriented and growing weak with hunger I have no choice but to curl up in a ball and cry until help arrived…

 

No wait… that was my adventure with trying to find a light bulb at Lowes… this one I actually pulled through on and managed to grow ever so slightly as a functioning human being!

 

As it turns out, pop the bread into a toaster, set it on light, then take the toast slip the cheese in and then microwave for fifteen seconds and it is delicious!


-B!

Playdate!

Yay! Erica let me come over and play with her Brian!

We had Chinese food, talkeda bout the shows on Adult Swim, quoted a whole lot of SeaLab 2021 and then watched the Japanese try and stop Godzilla from putting them in their place! 

Silly Japanese. You can't stop him, even with your blackhole gun!

Se says since we were good we can do it again sometime!

Yay!

-B!